Hey Lady! Any Man Near You is Your Father.
Loutraki, Greece, January 3, 2010
Salaroche

Paternalistic societies aren’t uncommon in this world, even in our day and age. Check out North Korea or China or even Japan and you’ll see what I’m talking about. In America, any state that interferes in the affairs of its citizens as much as, for example, EU governments interfere in the lives of the EU population, is considered paternalistic, although we don’t necessarily call them that way.

In America, interventionist states like the EU welfare states are called “Nanny States,” meaning states that perform the role of population baby sitters, protecting their citizens in ways that only babies should be protected, as if adult human beings weren’t supposed to know how to take care of themselves.

I largely disagree with putting the “Nanny State” label on EU states, but I can understand why many Americans use it, particularly since that label is hurled against the EU mainly by pig-headed, cut-throat-capitalist Republicans and other hypocritical so-called Democrats who aren’t but Republicans in disguise (i.e., Blue-Dog “Democrats”)

But I’m not here to talk about welfare states or Nanny States or paternalistic states of the kind I briefly outlined above. I’m here to talk about paternalism of a more personal sort; a paternalism that I first heard about last night as I was sitting at a table with two good-looking Greek young ladies at a seaside restaurant in Loutraki, Greece.

Efi and Anna were both in their late twenties or very early thirties. They both had attractive features, very light brown skin and raven-black long hair. Anna must have been around 5’ 6” tall and Efi about 5’ 4”. They were both Athenian sociologists working in addiction-prevention centers in Athens. Anna owned a secondary home in Loutraki and, as many Athenians regularly do, they had both come to Loutraki for the weekend.

Anna was wearing a Denim miniskirt over a black and gray striped blouse and a black leotard. She was wearing black, soft leather boots that reached up to her ankles. Efi was wearing a white, light sweater over a white leotard, with a tight brown leather belt around her waist and white, soft leather boots up to her ankles as well. Both girls were in very good physical shape.

Anna had the long neck of a ballet dancer, perfectly framed by her cascading long black hair and Efi had soft-looking big brown eyes and a leonine hair that she sometimes caressed with delight. They both looked very good in their outfits, but they weren’t dressed to kill. The use of leotards and boots seems to be the general trend in Europe nowadays, particularly in Winter.

My point being that these were two perfectly normal, decent, good-looking professional young women having a couple of drinks and some seafood at a regular seaside restaurant in the very nice, well-known, international resort town of Loutraki, Greece.

After a few introductory greetings, they had invited me to their table and I had brought along with me my small carafe of Rosé. They were drinking Ouzo with water. 

We talked a bit about the US and my travels and then they told me a bit about their jobs and other things. They also told me they had already been sitting at that table for well over two hours. They both spoke fairly good English, although neither of them would admit it. Eventually we fell on my favorite subject of these past few days: Greece. I was delighted to be with them. They were both very charming, particularly Anna, the more feminine of the two.

As we were some 30 to 45 minutes into our conversation, a Greek man in his 50’s came close to us and, while leaning on the table right next to ours, said something in Greek to the girls in a tone of voice that seemed a bit like lecturing to me. The girls kept smiling as the man talked, but the man didn’t change his tone of voice.

When the man left I asked the girls to please tell me what the man had said, to which Efi answered “Oh, it’s just a Greek thing.” “Yeah,” I kindly replied, “maybe it’s just a Greek thing and maybe I’m wrong, but that man didn’t sound like very nice to me. Could you please tell me what he was saying?”

“Well,” said Efi, “he told us that we should be careful and that we shouldn’t get drunk.” “Oh,” I said, “so you know that man. Is he a friend of yours?” “No,” said Efi, “we don’t know him; but that’s the way things are in Greece. Men think that women should be protected.” “That’s very paternalistic,” I said. “Yes,” said Anna, “that’s very paternalistic, but that’s the way things are here in Greece.”

I told them there was no way that American women would put up with such attitude from the part of unknown men, even in small towns. “American women would tell such men to mind their own business or, ultimately, to go fly a kite,” I told them. “I know,” said Efi, “and that’s something we really like about America.”

I mentioned to them that that episode had reminded me of the general attitude that Saudi men have towards Saudi women, to which Efi said “Yeah, here in Greece we’re sometimes Arabs, sometimes Europeans.” “But why didn’t you tell the man something?” I asked them. “Oh,” said Anna, “we really don’t care about it.”

But a few minutes later they asked for the bill and, after cordially saying good bye to me, they left.

Yeah, I thought, the Ottoman Turkocracy that ruled over Greece from somewhere around 1460 until the Declaration of Independence in 1821, obviously had a lasting influence over Greek culture. I guess that should explain the man’s Arab-like patronizing attitude towards Efi and Anna. That should also explain the similarities between Greek and Arab music and between both cultures’ culinary habits as well.

Had anybody told me just a couple of days ago that Greek men had such attitudes towards Greek women I probably wouldn’t have believed it. I would have probably said something like “Hey man, this is not Greece in the times of Zorba. This is Greece in the 21st century.”

But I would have been partially wrong, for what we have here looks more like a combination of the two. If my recent experience on the subject is applicable to the whole country, men’s openly patronizing, paternalistic attitudes towards women still have plenty of currency here in Greece.

As Hellenic women look forward to the second decade of the 21st Century, the times of Zorba aren't totally over yet.

Salaroche